“Gratitude is an emotion that reflects our deep appreciation for what we value, what brings meaning to our lives, and what makes us feel connected to ourselves and others. While gratitude is an emotion, if we want to experience its full power, we must also make it a practice.” Brene Brown
There are four ways to cultivate gratitude.
- NOTICE what you are seeing and feeling whether you feel gratitude or not. Being aware of the present moment increases mindfulness which fertilizes the soil of gratitude. Notice if the sky is blue, notice the leaves on the trees.
- ALLOW yourself the time to savor what is pleasant. Allow yourself to slow down and see the neutral things you have been ignoring. Often looking closely at the neutral experiences makes them pleasant.
- ACT in ways that lift your mood, a better mood makes gratitude possible. Play your favorite music, dance, call someone and tell them how much you appreciate them, do a good deed, do mouth yoga (smile). We can’t feel grateful when we are feeling very negative. So, we may have to push ourselves to take some action that will lift our mood.
- THINK about all the things in your life you can be grateful for from your non-toothache to a beautiful sunset to spending time with those you love.
Notice
“Gratitude is like a flashlight. It lights up what is already there. You don’t necessarily have anything more or different, but suddenly you can actually see what is. And because you can see, you no longer take it for granted.” Attitudes of Gratitude, M. J. Ryan
Start by noticing what you are truly grateful for, not what you should be grateful for. While it does not have to be the size of winning the lottery, your gratitude list may include little things that made your day just a little bit better: someone held the door for you, the sun was shining, your cold is gone, the sky is blue, the leave on the trees.
Reflection
Make a list of all the things you have today that make your life easier and more comfortable than they were for your great-grandparents.
Allow
Allow yourself the time to savor what is pleasant. When you see something of beauty, instead of moving on to the next thing, take 20-30 seconds to really enjoy it. When you are out for a walk, you may notice a beautiful tree. But often within seconds our minds have moved on to another thought or sight. You will find that if you allow yourself to slow down and see the neutral things, you’ll find out they are actually pleasant.
There are two beautiful oak trees on the grounds at Oakhill Correctional. When I ask they guys if they noticed the trees they walked right by on their way to class,11 of the 12 say no. After encouraging them to notice the trees, the guys start seeing their beauty and appreciating them. We have to train our brain to be Velcro for the good instead of Teflon.
Act
Act in ways that lift your mood, a better mood makes gratitude possible. Play your favorite music, dance, call someone and tell them how much you appreciate them, do a good deed, do mouth yoga (smile). We can’t feel grateful when we are feeling very negative. So, we may have to push ourselves to take some action that will lift our mood.
“Many thank you's involve little things in the flow of life, like thanking someone for passing the salt at dinner. Let these small moments matter to you. Feel your thanks in your chest and throat. When you say your thanks, try to let them show in your eyes. Life is made up of moments, beads on a golden chain; what are you stringing together?” Rick Hanson
Think
Think about all the things in your life you can be grateful for from your non-toothache to a beautiful sunset to spending time with those you love.
Questions to Spark Gratitude
When was a time you were truly proud of yourself?
What is the nicest compliment someone has ever given you?
What’s the best sound in the world?
Has a piece of music ever moved you? What was it?
What never fails to make you laugh?
What was the most beautiful sunset you’ve ever seen?
What’s an item with absolutely no monetary value that holds great meaning for you?
What was one of the best days of your life?
Reflection
Consider all the thousands of people who have worked hard to make your life easier or more pleasant. Not just the people and pets you know who enrich your life. But also, people you don’t know. When you do this, try to focus on specific occupations or people. Instead of saying I am grateful for my family, think about a specific person or moment of connection for which you are grateful.
Practicing gratitude is not forcing the emotion, ignoring negative feelings, and being inauthentic. It is taking the time to savor and appreciate all the wonders in your life. Sometimes our gratitude practice gets stale, and we start listing the things we “should” be grateful for. Or we focus on the task, making a long list of things without stopping to really feel the appreciation. Enhance your gratitude practice by writing about fewer but more heartfelt things.
While it is impossible be feel resentful and grateful at the same time, gratitude practice cannot cover up underlying pain or discomfort. What it can do is provide you with the energy needed to address the pain.
Gratitude for Your Body Meditation
Here are the words for the Gratitude for your Body Meditation.
Notice the feeling of your body and breath in this place. Rest quietly for several minutes, noticing how you feel throughout your body, emotions, and thoughts. No judging, just noticing.
Let’s contemplate the aspects of your life that you might be grateful for. Just give gratitude the chance to come up naturally. And when it comes up just let yourself sink into the feeling. Notice how it feels in your body, how your energy feels. And if you don’t feel gratitude, that’s ok, you don’t need to try to make yourself feel it.
I am grateful for the breath that nourishes every cell in your body and has sustained me from the moment I was born.
I am grateful for my brain that coordinates all the functions of my body without my even being aware of it.
I am grateful for the eyes that allow me to see the beauty that surrounds me—colors and shapes, nature, the face of a loved one.
I am grateful for the ears that enable me to hear music, birds singing, wind rustling in leaves, words people say to me, and the laughter.
I am grateful for the sense of smell that allows me to enjoy the spring breeze, fragrance of flowers, the smell of my favorite foods.
I am grateful for my mouth and tongue that enable me to enjoy a ripe strawberry or chocolate melting in my mouth.
I am grateful for the arms and shoulders that carry, hug, lift and stretch.
I am grateful for the beauty of nature.
I am grateful for the abundance and variety of food.
I am grateful the material things that came to me unexpectedly.
I am grateful the things that took great effort, commitment and hard work.
I am grateful for the people in my life to whom I am close: my friends, family, partner.
Open to a sense of wonder and gratitude for the amazing gift of being awake and alive in this precious human form.
Notice the feeling of your body and breath in this place. Rest quietly for several minutes, noticing how you feel throughout your body, emotions, and thoughts. No judging, just noticing. Has anything changed?